I am the kinda guy who brings flowers
Celebrity Touch Target: Seth Meyers
Why: Because the former SNL Weekend Update star and current Late Night host was standing between me and my Baby’s Breath.
Where: New York City Whole Foods
How: It’s quite a rare occurrence that you would run into a legitimate celebrity in a grocery store, other than, of course, Bethenney Frankel trying to convince you that skinny cocktails are still a “thing.” But that is exactly where I found recent late-night it boy Seth Meyers, loitering in the densely packed flower department of the Whole Foods on 7th Avenue (watch in amazement as I don’t refer to this store as Whole Paycheck even once in this diatribe… look we get it… it’s expensive… move on for Henry Cavill’s sake). Replete in my age-appropriate 7” inseam saffron-colored shorts and Pilgrim Surf +Supply naughty nautical themed t-shirt, I hadn’t noticed the giraffe-faced comedian until he proved an apparent obstacle for me to obtain a delicate bouquet brimming with Gerber Daisies (reader’s note: my favorite, thanks for remembering) and a whisper of Baby’s Breath (again, why is this still a “thing”). My annoyance quickly swung to mild-annoyance when I realized a Celebrity Touch™ had presented itself. So, as I bent from the knees – never from the waist (Flower Fitness Journal June 1987) – to extend my slender, cocoa butter-lathered arm and reach the Gerber (no relation to Rande) Daisies, I casually nicked Seth’s elbow with mine. Celebrity Touch and “Sorry I Made You Wait in Line at Shake Shack” bouquet secured!
