Celebrity Touch Target: Calvin Klein
Why: Because the famous fashion designer has been in my pants for years
Where: The new Uniqlo store in SOHO
How: The last place you would expect to find Calvin Klein is at a Japanese discount clothing store in Manhattan, but there he was, floating down the stairs with his little Gasian (gay-Asian… no relation to the Craisin). This time, something did come between him and his Calvin (digital high-five to me for dated Brooke Shield’s reference). I had to be careful, because Gasians are known to attack blond white guys without warning and the last thing I need is to be mauled by someone in a crocheted Fendi poncho. As Calvin walked by, I bent down as if to tie my white LA Gear high tops, cautiously reached out and touched his pant leg. I then quickly curled up in the fetal position to protect myself from the furious attack which never materialized. Celebrity Touch™ secured!