So, like many of you, I have had my brushes with celebrity. And also like you, I have tried to talk to celebrities, but always ended up sounding completely moronic because I simply don’t have anything to say to a celebrity that a million other fans haven’t already uttered. So, sure, I have been on stage with Charo; didn’t say anything to make her want to invite me out for Mai Tai’s later. I asked for Stephanie Powers’ (Meet Mrs. Hart, she’s gorgeous. She is one lady who knows how to take care of herself, because when they met, it was MURDER!) autograph; she didn’t buy me a yellow Mercedes SEL with Hart2Hart license plates. I have even been on Wheel of Fortune, but that didn’t mean Vanna was crying out my name during her afternoon trysts with Pat Sajak.
Nope. I don’t have all that much to say to a celebrity, but there was one celebrity, I really wanted to have a moment with… and trust me I had nothing at all to say to him, because he is simply a legend. And this the one, who started it all.
I was standing in the security line at JFK (Business Class thank you very much). In front of me was a silver-haired, short dignified man in an impeccably tailored suit. Clinging to his arm was his buxom blonde daughter (???). While no one else recognized this individual, I sure did. The slender figure before me was none other than Tony Bennett, the legendary, Grammy Award -winning singer. Certainly, a kid like me from West Virginia had nothing to say to a man of his stature, but I wanted that special moment for my own satisfaction and to share with my friends.
So… I touched him. That’s right. I stood behind him and put my index finger in the middle of his back. In fact, it was there for quite some time, and because he was so old he didn’t even notice. I remember saying in my head “I’m touching Tony Bennett, I’m touching Tony Bennett.” At least I think it was just in my head.
After what seemed like an eternity, I removed my finger and allowed Mr. Bennett and his niece (???) to go on their merry way. And that, my friends, is the first official celebrity touching I ever had. From there, I made a promise to myself: If I was ever near a celebrity, and I had the opportunity, I would touch them…. and say nothing. Following are my adventures in the pursuit of my passion.
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